sâmbătă, decembrie 2, 2023

An open invitation to all Romanians and Bulgarians: Please come to the UK

As a British citizen, I would like to launch an open invitation to all Romanians and Bulgarians to come to Britain.
Don’t wait until next year when you will be free to work in any job you want.
Book your ticket now.
Why? Because I would like to thank our east European friends for all the great things they have done for Britain.
Us Brits have it bad. We are in a triple-dip recession. Unemployment is high. Our Government is torn apart over Europe. Our economy is dependent on two sources of job creation – the Olympics and Game of Thrones. And the Olympics are over!
But at least we can be thankful for Romanians and Bulgarians.
We need you to work in our factories, schools, hospitals and ports. How do I know this? Because nearly everyone employing Romanians and Bulgarians in Britain are British companies, British citizens and the British state. If they didn’t want Romanians and Bulgarians as their employees, they could stop hiring them. No one is forcing you to steal our jobs. We want our own jobs to be stolen.
But what about those awful Romanian and Bulgarian beggars on the streets of our great cities? Us Brits must want them. How do I know? Because we keep giving them money. We love buying the Big Issue from Bulgarians. It’s something fun to do in our lunch hour. If we stopped throwing coins at them, they wouldn’t be here.
What about those poor prostitutes? Well – it’s us who need the comfort of an east European whore for twenty minutes to relieve our marital distress. If we didn’t want a Romanian girl, we would simply say ‘nu, multumesc, nu vreau sex cu tine. Vreau o englezoaica’. We would stick with the English ladies of the night – when it comes to sexual exploitation and an indirect support of human trafficking, we would buy British!
We must be thankful for Romanians and Bulgarians who come to our country and cheat our generous welfare system to fund their luxury housing. These enterprising EU citizens reveal the mistakes that exist in our welfare system. Much as the CIA rewards hackers for showing the US Intelligence Agency where its security breaches exist, these ingenious tricksters teach us how we can improve our great social safety net.
Our universities need money. So our great and underfunded educational institutions travel on road-shows to your countries to solicit your richest students to invest their parents’ cash in a British education. In our country, your students can spend 10,000 Euro a term to learn how to drink ten pints of beer in two hours, put traffic cones on their head and vomit on our streets.
Our shops need your money. We need the sons and daughters of your billionaires who became rich from corrupt privatization deals to buy up our latest collections from Top Shop, Harvey Nichols and Selfridges. The offspring of the nomenklatura from Romania and Bulgaria can join their Chinese and Russian comrades in saving the British high street.
Don’t believe the British newspapers. We are not all racist. We are not all fat. Not all of us are working in a team of researchers. We love southeast Europeans. Especially your music. You have such a great sense of rhythm.
This anger that comes towards you from the cold northwest is a joke. You may have heard about our famous sense of humour. Where we often say the opposite of what we mean. We will call a beloved grandfather “you old fart”. We give our blessed Queen the working class nickname of “Brenda”. We pretend we hate the French.
That’s what our Government’s proposal for an advertising campaign to discourage you to come to Britain is.
An example of the famous British sense of humour.
Yesterday, by creating headlines across the continent, Britain’s Conservative Party has managed to inform all Romanians and Bulgarians that work restrictions will be lifted for them from 2014.
This can only mean that we need you.
So get here now.

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  1. Mate, you have issues. We have our own problems, some of them quite bigger than yours. Don’t make me feel bad because I and and some 10 mil romanians learned English, ok? It’s not funny.

  2. @Mr. Michael Bird: this is indeed a great article. Also your sense of humour is much appreciated. I am coming… :)
    Thank you!

    • Great. We are all coming. I will speak to my gypsy neighbors so they all (I mean ALL) come to you to show you their appreciation. I am sure that you will get numerous applause. Once they are ALL there we will shut our border. As we are not under the Schengen Treaty we can do that. Then we will simply watch how you manage to solve the issue. Or maybe there is no issue at all.

      • @Valentin: Don’t worry mate, your gypsy friends are already there. And guess what, they can’t do what they do in .ro because the british police and british justice does his job, unlike the romanians one which are populated by pure blood romanians.

        • Dear Diana,

          When British police does its job, nobody jumps 10 feet high to call it racist… When Romanians do take atitude (and measures) against the theft done by gypsies ( see their palaces built on terrain that does not belong to them and on which they do not pay taxes, and built with stolen materials, from Ro, and more recently, from abroad) , there is a whole world that calls us racist and wants to show us how to „integrate” them…Unfortunately, for more than 20 years there is no successfull example that I am aware of….

        • Diana, ‘mate’, you should come to Romania just to see the Palaces. The Palaces from the gypsys. Made with the money that u guys gave them and with the money that they stolled from you. So no, the UK police doesn’t do shitt about it.

      • Reply to Silviu and Valentin: If you two and all your neighbors are coming in the same time, they will need a lot of protection just to keep it safe, won’t they? You know, „keep it safe, you could save a nation” ;)

  3. Mister Bird, I for one am not coming this time. The British Council Library in Bucharest provides me with all the Britishness I can take for now. But it’s good to know there’s an open invitation, should I suddenly run britserk. Thanks awfully, I’ve put you up in my Hot Gallery near Sir Terry Pratchett!

    • @Smaranda Nistor
      to go britserk!
      Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve came across such a smart wordplay :-)
      Thanks, you really made my day!

      Mr. Bird, you could try running this through your elite circles, see if they appreciate it.
      While you’re at it make sure you tell them the key too, it seems you think we needed one in order to read your bile laden, frustrated rant in which you manage to mention so many coarse words without actually saying anything intelligible (ok, maybe it is intelligible for a psychoanalyst, but for this to happen your positive intention would be required too, which is kinda doubtful…)

  4. Nice tongue-in-cheek article which touches with humor and sarcasm the TRUTH. And here is one more:

    Free trade means not only free circulation of goods, services and capital accross the borders. It means aslo free movement of LABOUR. Dear Brits, sorry to say, but since you can freely buy land and property in Romania (greetings to Prince Charles!), your banks are already in Romania making nice money (HBSC, RBS, etc) making higher returns than at home and we all love to buy free of custom-taxes those overpriced Mark’s and Spencer clothes, let’s call it by it’s name: the only market on which we can compete with you is Labour. Abundant, cheap, skilled labour, in mint condition, delivered at your doorsteps.

    And.. thanks for the invitation, we take it, be it just to make it up for that expensive-piece-of-shit-third-hand-type-22-revamped frigate that you sold to our corrupt government for new.

    And yes, we love you too. Kind of. :)

    • Nice touch. When English people went in Spain no one told them anything .
      We are not stealing your jobs. My friend look around you and watch how lazy are your friends (British ). I am working in UK for more than 5 years , paying taxes over taxes to keep your brits at home on benefits.
      If tomorrow all nations from uk will leave and will remain only pure British will be a disaster for you. I wish my government to ask for visa too, for all British which are working in Romania.
      P.S . that persons which you seen them begging on streets and prostitutes they does`t care about your f…g visa. People which want visa are persons which will pay taxes and raise your country budget.

    • RazTaz, brilliant answer! You`re completely right!
      And you, Michael Bird, are NOT a journalist! You`re a racist and xenophobic, everyone who is not blind or mad can read and understand exactly what you wanted to say here! I know someone else with a similar attitude, in a diffent time:Hitler!
      But, now… let`s talk a little about you and us (romanians)!

      In all the history, we defended our territories. You… you just killed other, opress other, enslave other, sell others, for money, for territories, for fame. Who is right?

      In the history, we had some problems with the romanian thieves (you can read a little about Alexandru Ioan Cuza, Vlad Tepes and other, leader that wanted to correct all that bad social behaviour in society). You, mr. Bird… every english recognize… you had so many criminal, that you decided to send them to Australia. who was right, mate?

      From the roman time, we tried to protect our minerals, our copper and our precious gold. (Ask the jewish londoners about the quality of that gold). You.. mate… what you`ve done for minerals? you enslavized people, you distroyed the environment in all the Africa and asian territories, you made the biggest genocide in Rwanda… for diamonds!! – and you can talk about what is right?

      I know, we are still some years behind you in some areas of technology, but dont forget, mr. bird, your stupit mr. Churchill, that lazy politician undecided to came in the war in europe or not… that man sold my country to the russian comunists. and why? Because there was not oil, no diamonds, no tea, just a semi-poor nation, wanting peace and democracy. So, please, don`t be superior. you`re not! Some of us, thinking about history, are proud to be romanians!

      Now… you don`t like us, right? Let me tell you something! Some of us don`t like you as well! but you know what? we can still live together in this world! You are allready a minority in London, for example (you, english), there is so many indians, africans, chinese, south americans and other europeans. And we, a few romanians, we can be there! You complain about your jobs? Why are you so afraid? The jobs, everywhere around the world, is for workers! Who is the best, the most adaptable, the cheapest, the most serious and the most efficient, will be chosen by every business man to work something for him. So, my advice, dont pun on the table a false subject, like the romanians that stay there for benefits! They are just a few! Look to nearly ALL your young generation, look to all that lazy people staying home for benefits! Not a single day on the job! Look there! Maybe after you will tell me who is right!

      Now, the last thing! Some of you would be so happy to close your border and to put all the other people outside your country! But there is a thing! We respect your Queen! A great woman, leading you and givind you a reason to be proud you`re english in this world. The Queen`s cousin si my King! Our King! His name is Mihai 1st by Hohenzollern, the King of Romania. Is there because your queen protected him in the comunist time, so, we have a president now, be He is our King in exile. If you want to close the border and to throw out of UK every romanian, please start with Him. But first, go with your petition to the Queen! Good luck! :)


      • Whatever said Nath F really needs to do some wider reading regarding the Queen. Well off track there I’m afraid.
        And if you lot are desperate to come to Britain then Romania must be one big sh*thole indeed!

  5. The only country with this kind of problem „ooooo, romanians will invade us!! :OOO ” is UK.
    Never heard complains (like this!) from France, Germany, .. what to say about Italy or Spain.
    This is a false problem, giving us the right to work legally there will not increase the number of criminal, beggars, prostitutes or whatever.
    They are already there if you didn’t notice that before.. ;) They do not need work permit to prostitute, cheat, steal, etc..

  6. Nice effort in writing this article. Funny, subtle and yet very concise. I recognized romanian and british hipocrisy all over. Good points were made.
    Keep it up!

  7. Let’s thank capitalism for creating inequality at all levels. Let’s blame freedom to move which allows people to find a better living elsewhere. That being said a certain romanian hip hop song comes into my mind: search youtube for „parazitii message for europe”. I think anybody reading this article already knows it.

  8. I noticed how politically controlled campaign through UK media picked up on Romanians and Bulgarians due to their lack of cohesion and response.Immigration/migration it’s a hot subject and can trigger high emotional reactions even from those in favour of it. Brits are also started playing a dangerous game turning immigrants against immigrants.
    The crowded towns in UK has its effects, developing anxiety and frustration among natives. Basic arithmetic sets off alarm bells when you look at the emerging economies , China, India,Pakistan, Nigeria and Brasil have a cumulated 3.6 billions population of which 700 millions potential migrants workers.
    Is Mr Bird aware of these aspects?

  9. You got one thing wrong though, we don’t pay the „overseas” amount for UNI. And we’re also entitled to your student finance. So it wasn’t really that expensive to puke on the streets with traffic cones on my head (well I actually never did it, not even once, anyway). But I still have a decent loan to repay. And guess what I didn’t even stick around after I finished. Fuck me right? :)

  10. in Romana is heaven and I will stay here… so please don’t count on me…

    but I am not selfish… so I launch an invitation for all british people… Come in Romania! there is a place for you… please come three in a boat… and, what a hell… get the dog too!

  11. No way, mr Bird, although your article is funny.

    Brits employment offers are not acceptable. You treat romanians as slaves (new untermensch). Hypocrisy an xenophobia are probably right now at their peak. You may soon exit EU, this is a risk an emigrant would need to consider, since it will impact very hard on your economy.

    I would rather go to Germany (where they are fair!) then to England; that ireland is going to sink soon under its debt, and I’m not going to work to pay for something I do not own.

    So have fun there (or here), but no, thanks.

  12. Eu ma intreb daca s-a citit articolul pe bune, .. nu inteleg de lumea ii multumeste, omu este de fapt ironic la adresa clasei lui politice pentru masurile luate impotriva imigrantilor, dar asta nu inseamna ca isi doreste cu adevarat sa venim noi peste ei dooh, dupa cum vezi, face referire la prostituate, la faptul ca le furam joburile, si noi raspundem: thank you! :)
    Multi dintre noi nici macar nu percep sensul ironiei :))

    • Eu cred ca s-a inteles, iar ironia (fina si cu multa intelegere fata de rasa umana) ne pune cumva pe picior de egalitate cu britanicii.
      Ideea principala cred ca este cea legata de perfidia Perfidului Albion, ca, deh, omul are in vedere in primul rand barna din ochii lor si nu paiul din ochii altora (mare + din partea mea) dar si scoate in evidenta avantajele trairii acestor alogeni in UK. Iar costul redus al mainii de lucru cred ca este cel mai important.
      Keep swinging low, sweet chariot!

    • desi nu e treaba lui personal, omul incearca sa salveze printr-o gluma situatia jenanta in care ne-au pus, in mod gratuit, autoritatile britanice. lucrurile astea marunte chiar conteaza (parerea mea de capsunar).

    • S-a inteles perfect dspre ce e vorba. da este vorba de ironie, la adresa guvernul britanic care in opinia autorului trebuie sa intareasca „the social safety net”, insa articolul e f obiectiv scris in sensul ca se remarca bine ca romanii si bulgarii sunt competenti – altfel nu i-ar angaja nimeni, precum si calitatea de consumatori pe care o au romanii si bulgarii, si care e trecuta sub tacere de mediul politic din stupizenie. iar descurajarea romanilor si bulgarilor de a se duc la munca in uk va face statul britanic sa piarda bani.

    • Articolul este o critica in primul rind la adresa propriului guvern imbecil (ce credeati ca detinem monopolul la imbecilitate ?).
      In acelasi timp, prezinta si partile pozitive (aia care accepta job-uri pe care englezoii nu le vor, dupa care se pling ca nu sint job-uri) si cele negative (ce, te doare sa-ti spuna careva ca producem curve si smenari ?)
      Mi se pare foarte funny: „We are not all racist. We are not all fat.” – tonul anunta falsitatea, dar e adevarat. Totusi, acolo xenofobia e la cote maxime.

      Este adevarat si ca GB se confrunta cu o criza destul de dura si ca ceva masuri protectioniste pentru ei ar fi indicate. pe scurt: cred ca ati inteles unilateral articolul.

  13. I can only laugh at how the sarcasm and irony of the article is totally missed by the commentards and even by the press who pointed me to this article.

    English is a very subtle language. Maybe too subtle for some.

    • Dude, I can only laugh at how the sarcasm and irony of the comm-enters is totally missed by you.Would that make yourself a commentard? ;)

  14. Classic British superiority!
    Yes, yes, you are the best and yes, you allow us to get uours dirtiest jobs (whore, sailors, cleaners).
    If you want to slapped us, better done directly! We are „uneducated” are not accustomed to such fine things and gloves.

  15. He he he …… „Not all of us are working in a team of researchers” ……… nice touch!

    Well, since a ‘lil „bird” made it even louder than the British Government managed to, I’d say hold your horses boys, and wait for the tremor of the ground at your borders, ‘cause 2 million of us hungry uneducated savages from The East will make it HELL for the Queen’s humble servants.

    Bunkers won’t be deep enough!

    Hang on a seconds though ….. look at your own Scotland Yard report on crimes around London:

    Police hold black men responsible for more than two-thirds of shootings and more than half of robberies and street crimes in London, according to figures released by Scotland Yard.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1290047/Metropolitan-Police-crime-statistics-reveal-violent-criminals-black–victims.html#ixzz2JMaHBd6C
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    Have you ever been to Romania, Mr. Bird? Lovely country, and really not sunny enough to put us as a nation in the middle of an utterly ridiculous denigration campaign when your Government should really focus on the, well, overwhelming problems they seem to ignore for quite some time now.

    A lovely day to you too!

  16. Hah… a brilliant article.
    To tell the truth, had they not made such a ruckus on this subject in the past weeks, I wouldn’t have found out that the work restrictions for Romanians will be lifted next year.
    Thank you, dear Conservative Party. :)

  17. Thanks but no thanks.

    I visited London recently expecting good British service and we got poor service from Polish cleaners and Indian receptionists. Your British hospitality is failing. Or rather, the Brits are. So hard to find them in London nowadays. Where have you disappeared?

    Oh, now I know. You have come to Prague! While you are lifting restrictions for Romanians and Bulgarians, you forgot to introduce some restrictions on some of your habits. Especially on drinking. While Poles and Indians take over London, hordes of English barbarians wearing shorts and flip-flops in February take over Prague and pee in the middle of Old Town Square and puke on the Charles Bridge. Where they get the drink I have no idea considering the multiple NO STAG PARTIES signs. Thank God you all have to be back at your place of unemployment on Monday otherwise who knows what could happen.

    You have a beautiful country Mr. Bird. Stay there and keep it British will you. Once I find a hotel with British staff, I may visit again. Until then, no thanks!

    • Many great points – down in the comments section I mean. Elegant English. Impeccable manners. As opposed to the article, what has neither of the three.
      In fact I suspect one can find in them more common sense, humor, wordplay and wit than what you have heard in decades.

      One point remains without rebuttal though:
      It seems that you find your education system to be not only chronically underfunded but also (for those unfortunate rich foreign kids that have to pay for it) at the same overpriced – one pays through the nose just to get some dubious drinking skills.

      It is not very clear how is that a problem brought along by Eastern-Europeans?
      You are most qualified to answer this, not only you are the author of this midnight rant, but are also said to be a most distinguished „specialist in Eastern-European areas” (btw, which areas, exactly?)

  18. We have an other important attribute: we are consumers. As workers maybe we’ll work or raise the unemployment, but as consumers we’ll need a roof, food, rags, at least a bike and so on. And each item of them will be purchased in Britain.

    • Big boy, you are not only a consumer. You are a TAX PAYER.

      All the benefits in the UK (to gipsies, non-gipsies, brits, non-brits) are paid also with your money- as long as you work in UK and pay tax in the UK.

      Being a consumer is only part of the story…. :)

  19. Thank you for the invitation, Michael. I’m not coming yet. But I hope that Romanian politicians will take it seriously. I think they fit very well to the famous British sense of humour: they always do the opposite of what they said. You need them also, right?

  20. Be sure that a lot of gipsies will come from Romania and Bulgaria to you but also many gipsies will come from Spania, Italia where they are now.

  21. I feel so lucky I can’t say … Romania is a country with no more beggars, thieves or whores, as they are all gone to UK to get some money, I mean to get some…jobs there! not even gypsies are to be found inhere, as they are all working in french/parisian manner. by the way, do you know what is the difference between a gypsy and a french? you won’t find a french washing himself in a summer hot day, but you’ll see many gypsies washing their feet in central fountains or parks! now, that’s a thing I call eeeeeeeducation! be aware, in case of atomic bomb, the only survivors will be Romanians, simply because we can live in the hardest conditions with the least food!!

  22. Ok, I’ll play stupid for one second and pretend that this article was meant to be… funny. And funny for Romanians, since it is published here. How come I’m not laughing?

    This article is overtly offensive. From Mr. Bird’s point of view (not a bird’s eye view, it seems, but a short-sighted and mean perspective), Romanians going to the UK are either prostitutes and beggars, or spoiled and reach children of the Romanian “nomenklatura”… Or, so-called students, that come to the UK “to learn how to drink ten pints of beer in two hours, put traffic cones on their head and vomit on our streets”… Oh, what a lovely sight! Well, Mr. Bird, let me tell you that not all Romanians in the UK are like that. Many of them are honest and hardworking. And there are a lot of Romanian students that really study and try hard to resist with the small amount of money they have. And yes, THE UK MIGHT REALLY BENEFIT SOMEDAY FROM THEIR WORK.

    In the text accompanying Mr. Bird’s photo, it says that he is “specializat in editoriale solide, bine documentate, cu subiecte din aripa estica a Uniunii Europene”… This article seems anything to me but solid and well-researched. When I see that he “A fost citat ca specialist in politica romaneasca la posturi de radio americane, televiziunea romana si presa nationala spaniola”, I wonder what other well-research and impartial things this specialist said about us.

    If Mr. Bird wanted to write an article targeting only the way the UK is handling the question of Romanians and Bulgarians, he could have done it in a different manner.

    • you have a point. we’re not all thieves or prostitutes. we can do more than that! we can post embarrassing and self important sounding comments in reply to articles written by friendly people. yes we can!

      • r2, „embarrassing and self important sounding comments”? Maybe it’s embarrassing for those who feel embarrassed they are Romanian. The comment above fairly emphasizes the ignorance and bias of this so called specialist in Eastern Europe. No wonder you can’t see that, since you consider this article to be „friendly”! I personally find it mean and insulting, and be sure I am not the „my sweet and dear country is so wonderful” type. It’s only that I’m not the opposite type either.

    • Honestly Ileana, I felt Mr. Bird classification as Romanian’s Cancan classification. All women from Ro are Senzuale and men are Becali. This kind of people represent only 0.1%, or less. British journalists become cancan’s jounalists?
      But who is mister Bird? A recognized british jounalists or he just survives practicing some irony about Romanian people?

  23. Sarcasm aside, whenever I read about Bulgarians and Romanians „invading” the UK market, I wonder if the Indians–and any other British colony, for that matter–had a similar approach when the Brits decided to invade their market some hundreds of years ago. Your adversity toward an open, democratic labour market boggles the mind, seeing how you used to be so open about it the past, collaborating with so many nations, with or without their consent.

    Have a good one!

    • also,they shoud think first at their thousands of indians and arabic origin citizen,once emmigrants…what about them? they are going in a generation or two to change the colour of the british nation…so, why such elitism?London has already many black than white people…

  24. Very poor article, the point of view is the same as the white people from the US
    look at the black people 200 years ago. If you are not able to make cooperation
    with the weak and with the different….you will be in a very deep problem soon.
    You can exploit the Chinese that work for you day and night making your iphone
    in the sweat factories but if he will try to raise his head you will push him down.
    The world changed no place to people that make separation, the future belong
    to those who are not afraid from „mix” and cooperation between nations, if you
    will not receive them, some one else will do so and sooner or later you will
    understand the mistake. The future belong to a free world without borders and
    without „wars” one day it will happen and all those that were colonials in the past
    will understand that the „old” world died and new winds are blowing and taking us
    to a better future. I can feel sorry for you and for the „antique” ideas in your brain.
    By the way in our world there is enough of every think for all, the problem is just
    in the narrow brain of small people.

  25. What a whole bunch of xenophobic s….t under the guise of a „friendly hand”. This whole article is an insult to the Romanians and Bulgarians, and you have the translation key right at the end. Just read this junk backwards and use the opposites. You will finally get to the title: you are not welcome to the UK, stay out of my country.

  26. Mr. Bird, you forgot to mention that your churches need us too – they have way too much metal on the roof. And you didn’t mention that your electricity net needs us to prove that wooden poles are not proper for this century, you must install modern, concrete poles.

    But don’t worry, we already know all these. Most of my family is already there, and I’m coming over too, very soon. I can’t wait!

  27. No thank you, Mr. Bird. I will never even visit Britain, I’d rather spend my money anywhere else! I’m a US resident and I know what it means to feel welcome and comfortable in a country where the system actually works. I will never accept to be labeled and stereotyped by some lowlifes.

  28. I’ve been in the UK for 10 years and I think the social benefits system there is disgraceful . This is where the government should act, but they just want votes, votes votes.

    UK should not stop free movement or right of people to work (anyway bad people figure out ways to avoid any restrictions, so it will only hurt honest people), but they should stop the corruption in the benefits system- oh yeah there is a lot of that too.

    If UK government goes along this road:

    a. there will be a wave of complaints from EU citizens to EU courts
    b. soon there will be no migrants to rip off so the benefits will have to be cut anyway…

  29. It’s strange how you can l launch an invitation for romanias while you are living in Romania,

    And since you are in Romania, I would like to thank you for beeing here and appreciating us, you know, we also are famous for our sense of humor and smart enoughto return the irony.

    • It’s strange how you can launch an invitation for romanians while you are living in Romania,

      And since you are in Romania, I would like to thank you for beeing here and appreciating us, you know, we also are famous for our sense of humor and smart enough to return the irony.

    • Andreea, I agree with you. There are lots of Romanians who have a knack for learning foreign languages.
      Another comforting thing is that some ouf the Romanian students who study in the UK are so capable that they not only beat most of the British students in „drink[ing] ten pints of beer in two hours, put[ting] traffic cones on their head and vomit[ing] on [UK] streets” competitions, but also in high-level scholastic competitions.
      Furthermore, most Romanians that study in Britain show better command of the British language than 90% of all pure-bread, home-grown, Tudor-pedigree Brits.
      I have had the misfortune of meeting Brits whose understanding/use of their own language was seriously lacking. It is quite unpleasant to have to lower the level of complexity of your speech, just to make sure the guy in front of you „gets” you.
      The ultimate „fun” you can have with the average Brit is to have the audacity of using French- or German-origin words in a conversation, such as „penchant” (captain Picard, live long and prosper!), „debris” or, God forbid, „Angst” of „Gestalt”. Just try that the next time you meet a pure-Brit, you’ll see what happens. The usual reaction is the all-true statement that you’re just another arrogant „Surrender Monkey”.
      UK, you have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found wanting…

      • Dati dracului romanii! Rupti in fund dar cu coada (englezeasca) pe sus. Vorba cuiva, ce grebla-n fata ne-ar mai trebui!
        Cum poti sa-ti inchipui ca stapanind onorabil o limba straina ii poti scuipa in crestet pe bastinasi ?! Ca si cand n-am sti cu totii secretul gazonului englezesc…

        • Pai, chiar poti.
          Pentru ca, asa cum noi avem prostii nostri, asa ii au si ei pe ai lor, doar ca ai lor sunt mai multi (si mai fuduli), strict proportional cu populatia totala.

          • Way to be a self-congratulatory, masturbatory classist prick pretty much all over this comment thread. I think your Weltanshaunng has been found wanting. And your spelling too. Don’t mean to quibble, but you have a few slips.
            And for the record, you’re not doing Romanian women any favour by pimping out their assests with your well-meaning sexist generalizations.

            • No problem.
              I love watching Brits getting pissed-off :)
              I assume Meropi is a Brit, even though he/she answered to the commment I made in Romanian.
              They (the Brits) seem to be experts in all-things-Romanian lately. :)
              Do not worry Mr./Mrs. Meropi, I will not be one of those 3 billion Romanians who will invade your Lebensraum as soon as your wonderful „leaders” drop the work restrictions.

  30. There should be no place for this sort of articles !!!

    It is a clear xenophobic attack to the people of
    Romania and Bulgaria. It seems part of the new
    campaign of the UK guvernment of „anti-advertising
    in order to stop masses of romanians and bulgarians
    to migrate to UK”. This is the belief of Tory back-benchers
    taken on board by the current government of Cameron.
    Generally speaking this government is anti-European.

    This sort of foreigner-bashing is always happening in the
    periords of uncertainty in the history of mankind. The most
    relevant case was the rise of nazism in Germany in late ’20s
    and early ’30s, during the economic crisis, while accusing the
    jews. This led to the rise of Hitler to power and to millions of
    deaths during WWII.

    Quite often, people with lower education level and without
    a free-mind of their own are trying to find scapegoats for their
    problems. This is the easiest thing to do … you are not the guilty one
    for your own problems … but the new face in the neighbourhood
    should be !!! Isn’t this easy ?

    Actually their no basis for such idiosyncrasies. There
    is no study showing a massive migration from Romania
    towards UK after the end of the year. The End of the World
    predicted for the last December was a more likely event.
    Romanians who wanted to come to UK,a re already there
    adn their numbers may increase just slightly. There is
    an estimated population of 80,000 Romanians in the whole
    UK. This compares with about 80,000 Portuguese in London
    alone, countless Greeks and more than 250,000 Brasilians
    and tens of thousands of Argentinians. Why nobody says anything
    about such populations? Argentinian leader Cristina Fernández de
    Kirchner is spreading heatred of UK in her campaign for
    the conquest of Falklands. Still UK has more trade with Argentina
    than with Romania-Bulgaria-Hungary combined !!

    The only reasons for the fear of another huge migration from
    East Europe is that more than 1 milion Poles come to UK after
    2004. But let’s not forget that UK went into WWII on 1st September
    because of the attack on Poland. A massive Polish migration to UK
    followed including special Army corps fighting at Monte Cassino
    and in RAF !!! The Polish migration during WWII built a well defined
    community, a natural place for more poles to come after 2004.

    What about Romanians? The fact that all Romanian migrants are
    low-life and prostitutes is just another stereotype. Anyone who would
    check the brothels from UK would find mostly women from Asia in there,
    mostly of Thai or Philipines origins. The vast majority of criminals from
    prisons are locals, born in British isles. It is true that the number of people
    commiting various low level crimes in UK, or Romanian origins, is higher
    procentually , than that of other communities. But to generalise this and
    bring it as an argument against anyone of Romanian origins is clearly

    Romania gave to UK several personalities including Angela Gheorghiu,
    prima soprana at Covent Garden and many others including those
    mentioned in this site:


    I do not know Mr. Michael Bird writings, I see that he presents himself
    as a specialist into Eastern European area, but his article is not at all
    providing a neutral analysis but rather is full of invectives.
    From reading his article he seems to publish his acticles in
    Daily Mirror, The Sun or other tabloids, read by chavs and people
    without too much education or without free minds. This sort
    of invectives would never find their way into main UK press
    such as The Times, The Guardian, Financial Times or on BBC!
    This article should not have been on here as well !!!!

  31. Sarcasm is not a proof of intelligence and one just does not make use of it especially when discriminated European citizens are the subject.
    And FYI, England is not in recession! Ireland, on the other hand, is and that is why we are welcome there.

  32. Yep, I bet you all want us bad….Nice white caucazian English speaking population that will reinforce your whitees…
    I am sure that your country will love to take all our finest youngsters, to help you for the future…
    I am not ironic, I KNOW you mean it….

  33. As a Romanian living in the US I promise not to go to England. Next time I go on vacation I’ll spend my money somewhere else in Europe.

    The Brits Can turn their island into their own prison and live isolated from the rest of the world.

  34. Love the hypocrisy, imagine that, you earn enough to feel like cleaning you own house is too low for your standards, therefore you hire a Romanian to do it for you, after sleeping on it, you explain to “it” how much money you could have saved if you wouldn’t have paid for a job that yourself are not willing to do. Can you see the resemblance?

  35. boo friggin hoo, when will you Westerners get over yourselves – you don’t just get beggars and quirky music and filthy rich filths from Romania and the East; you also get brains! Doctors (and I dunno about you but France and Germany are kindof begging for them), PhD students, IT people, and generally people with the level of intelligence to kick your giant beer-infused butts into the ground. And I’m frankly fed up with the same ole witty repartee exoticizing the East because you think we all live in cardboard boxes. Our governments back home may be stupid but we’re not, so stop portraying us like some retarded cousin that you don’t want to admit being related to.

  36. Hello Mr. Michael Bird,

    It’s a really great article, you have amazing literature style! Thanks for your kind invitation, I really appreciate this. But I prefer to stay here in Bulgaria which is a country without Gypsy, beggars, thieve, whores, sluts etc. anymore, because all of them are now in your great country, „Great Brittan” to earn some money and to enjoy your famous British hospitality. But You Mr. Bird, you can come to Bulgaria to buy some property and to enjoy the rest of your life, like thousands other Britons. You are Welcome!

    • amazing comment. short , simple and clear!
      I bet anything Mr. Bird won´t retire in Britain….he is currently living in Romania, he might move to Bulgaria in the future, to get some friends there as well.
      p.s regarding prostitutes: at least they do it for money. The Enligsh girls do it for free.

    • And you suddenly see why Mr. Cameron announced a future referendum on staying in the EU or not. Getting a „better deal” for the UK he said.

  37. Well, I think this is not a xenophobe article. I think it’s just a way of expressing his discontent with the British Government, trying to emphasis the problems in the system. If there is room for us, it means that something is wrong with their systemy and with the Brits that are unwilling to work, preferring to live on welfare. What I understand from this article is that Brits are lazy and Romanians and Bulgarians are hardworking, Brits complain about beggers and prostitues but they still give them money, the system is so poor that we can cheat it, the universities need our money and British students are so good at drinking and partying that can be our theachers. And of course, no Brit can afford the high-end products so they need someone to buy them.
    So yes, te author is full of resentment towards his own country.

  38. Let’s put some Rhythm and Blues into that cold atmosphere! :) Cheer up, people! Meet me at Heathrow – the outside smoking area on January 1st, 2014. I’ll be wearing the Roma-nian flag wrapped around my chest and the Bulgarian one around my hips. Don’t forget to bring „bors”, „branza”, „palinca”, salt and pepper, your well known fine common sense and a copy of the movie „Idiocracy”! Don’t worry about the rest, we’ll find plenty of umbrellas, Coldrex and UV lamps there … I’m doing some research on behavioural patterns when alcohol hits the medulla and I heard this country should provide the necessary material ;)

  39. Hey, hey we are going to England to stole jobs they don,t haven,t ….to take benefits from all Brits they don,t work all life ,cause they have a culture of COuncil houses , to replace all drunken girls in CAmden and CIty who are sleeping on curves on a Friday nights……pubs culture …

  40. Yes, Britain you do need us, because in many cases we are far more hard-working than your own citizens! But before calling us whores and drinkers, have a look at your own uni students who agree for one night sex just for one drink, sometimes even less, and drink until unconsciousness only for „fun” – believe no such thing exist it Bulgaria and Romania, neither we do that here!

  41. Did you ever wonder why your so great government,wants people as Romanians and Bulgarians over???
    The medical system is down,you need Greek Dr and Romanians to run it for you,the IT to stupid and drunk ass-holes,the Hospitality..they don’t know any other language then English..compering with Romanians and Bulgarians…should I continue….
    If I would be in your place..I would start looking at the big picture and appreciate all the hard working people…and try to find a way to work on your frustration…other than sarcasm and judging other!
    You all complain about your immigration issues but you never look in your garden…
    Unfortunately there are some bad apples in each Country..but that does not define the nations!!! To bad …I just feel sad for people like you!
    Would you ever work,jobs that Romanian and Bulgarians work? I’m telling now..NOOOO
    Sooo I would finish by asking you to light a candle for each soul that you heart with your idiotic comments and pray for your Queen,maybe will stop the Alcohol and your ”LOVLEY Country” will recover!!!
    If you need me to tell you more about the nations you hate..just contact me..and I will give you some private lessons on life,adjustment and surviving law …under communism,before and after the Revolution
    A US Citizens…that once used to think like you…till I got my facts right!

  42. The same kind of „invasion scare” was displayed in British media when job market opened for Polish citizens…I guess all plumbing issues in the UK are resolved by now because most of the Polish citizens have returned to their homeland over the past years. Good article, it addresses just a fraction of what is also known as European hypocrisy: big Government, outrageous and unsustainable welfare systems, market protectionism when possible, distress.

  43. „You may have heard about our famous sense of humour. Where we often say the opposite of what we mean.”

    What if I would read your article as an example of british humor ? (Meaning that you don’t want Romanians and Bulgarians to come.)

  44. Yep, the Romanians are the source of all bad things in the UK. Not the Muslims or Indians, not the blacks who live on welfare for ages. And especially not the press who promotes ‘multiculturalism’, when in fact the ‘diversity’ starts riots and tries to spread Islam and force women to wear those burqas.
    The Romanians are white, sir. We are not gypsy filth, we are white and we want to work. If gypsies speak Romanian, it is because we let them. Romanians are not beggars. Start focusing on your real problems. The UK has the most wonderful culture of all, and it is taken away from it.
    Don’t get me wrong, now, I really like the article. It’s the right attitude. Screw the ‘Romanians’ and screw whoever causes trouble. The UK needs to be for the British only, once more.

  45. Finally, I got it: political correctness does not apply to romanians. The bad news is that the guys who will first go to GB are not usually hanging around here. If you are representative for british people, I wonder if I should try my luck there. You don’t seem to much as a threat.

  46. been there. working as a student though; some 10 years ago. it’s not as bad as they say. especially if you get to live somewhere in the very green countryside of england. food is acceptable, I have to say I ate the best fish and chips ever somewhere in a small restaurant near the old port of whitby and I drunk the best tee in some small tea room in redcar. collegues were more than o.k. and very supportive; for all the brave scot I have worked with and whose accent gave me headaches sometimes. be careful now, if you’re invited to a pub you’ll have to drink as many beers as there are people sitting at your table; one round is on you.

    so, I would not mind going there again…

  47. Aww, what’s wrong? Da poor wittle capitalists getting unhappy with the results of their own system after imposing it on the whole continent? I thought workforce mobility was just one more awesome way the free market did things and that mrs. Thatcher was dancing in her grave seeing how well you were all implementing her macroeconomic dogmas.

    Guess it’s not often that the collision between a religion and reality ends well, huh.

  48. There’s people and people, – we cannot say that all Romanians are bad, as much as we cannot say that all English are good. The fact that a lot of Romanians prefer to come and live in UK – it’s a matter of choice and chance. If we try to stop a certain nation from sending people to UK – that doesn’t sound right – it brings back sad memories of the WWII…

  49. For the author: I appreciate the humor, thanks for the invitation, I’ll be glad to take it after you lose the CCTV and when I’ll be able to take photos in the street without being attacked by those mentally unstable idiots you call police (http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/oct/17/police-taser-blind-man-stick anyone?); being white and more cold resistant than most Romanians I have a smaller chance of being shot 5 times in the head like that unfortunate Brazilian dude a few years ago, but better safe than sorry… (I abstain from visiting the US for similar reasons, mind you – on a nation’s level it seems you are continuously trying to outdumb each other)

    For the „zomg racist!” crowd: chill; unless you are one of those African people who had to study and pass an exam for the Romanian citizenship, you have exactly zero reasons of being proud you are Romanian, it’s not like you had a choice… Be proud of your own accomplishments, for a change.

    • what do you mean no reasons to be proud?? mate, don’t forget, we invented the god-damn radiator! (if you believe mr. Marga). I am sure some of the comments here make him proud.

      • Brilliant, just brilliant comment.
        But please, do not forget that we Romanians are very good in computer science.
        For instance, the Ctrl+C and the Ctrl+V commands in a Windows environment. They were invented in Romania, right?

  50. I am sick and tired of listening and reading about your f*cking problems!
    I am a Bulgarian currently studying in England.
    I don’t understand why you blame only Bulgarians and Romanians about all the issues that the country is facing. Why don’t you accept it – there would be a lack of students in your universities if there were no students from other countries.
    Many Brits say that Bulgarians and Romanians cause problems related with crimes, prostitution, drinking and etc. Are you serious? When I first came here I was afraid to go out because of all of you – being drunk and vomiting on the street in the middle of the day is not normal! What about the way Brit girls get dressed? They look exacly like prostitutes.
    You don’t even know where Bulgaria and Romania are but you dare to judge the ambitious people who have learnt your language and have taken the courage to come in a foreign country. How many of the Brits actually know another language? Not many! Why? Because you think that it is enough to be born in a country where everything is a gift. I wish you could step into my shoes and see how many efforts I have put to come to your country. And you know what? You are trying to steal from me by not giving me the right to work! Don’t you think that it is unfair? Well, I can tell you if it is difficult for you to figure it out! After all I have a loan to repay to your country!
    And if by any chance someone has ever heard about Bulgaria, it is only because he/she has been on a holiday in Sunny Beach. What Bulgarians could say about Brits coming to our beautiful seaside and getting drunk (only because the alcohol is cheaper) and vomiting on OUR streets.
    You say that Bulgarians and Romanians take your jobs. Have you wondered why? Probably because we work harder compared to your lazy asses. If an European student ever get the chance to work in a group with Brits, he/she should be prepared whether to be ignored (don’t forget that Brits are „the best” and they cannot accept other people’s opinion) or you will have to do all the work on your own.
    But after all I loved the article. Once again you prove that you are selfish, arrogant and unfriendly morons. And by the way you can try to develop your sense of humor.

  51. 1. I came in the UK, and my family is not from the nomenklatura.
    2. I came here and I didn’t spend 10,000 euros like the British maybe did.
    3. I came here and didn’t dress from Topshop and didn’t get drunk like most British do.
    4. I came here and I’m gonna stay as much as I want …and I don’t care of your opinion.

  52. Hi Michael,

    I enjoyed the straight talking in your article.

    As soon as one lives more than a year abroad, regardless of their origin, one can start to appreciate just how much of a disaster Europe has put itself into. The European Union is a developing project and I believe that overall it is beneficial to all parties involved and that we should all continue to suport it. The commoners everywhere will have difficulties in grasping this.

    Hard working people do well in times of economic contraction as well as economic expansion because they are willing and able to adapt. I would prefer economic expansion, but hey, life sometimes sucks, isn’t it? The main advantage of the Romanian labour force over the UK labour force is that the Romanians are willing to work harder for less. Not smarter, just harder, it is THAT simple.

    Essential services like the healthcare and the telecomunications run on many foreigners in the UK. If all foreigners left the UK next day, the mighty UK would collapse. Game over – the globalisation wins.

  53. I lived 7 years in a country that one would consider civilised. I faced xenophobia and bad treatment because of the crimes of some fellow romanians or gypsies. Everything doubled as a woman: you go for a normal boring secretary job interview and you almost get involved into a prostitution network. I was told by my wannabe employers that romanian girls have no other way to get to the top except for selling themselves.
    Newsflash: romanian immigrant women who do not f00k for money do exist.

    If the uk government calls us whores and gypsies tell the uk government that gypsies are remnants of an indian tribe scattered all over Europe, and romanians on the other hand, are from Romania, Europe/ see history,ethnography and anthropology.

    Let the UK government know that prince Charles bought properties in Romania as favourite holidays destinations and seems to be very fond of the place and the vibes he gets here. It seems that prince Charles isn’t afraid of ”whores” and ”gypsies” but I refuse to believe that he may be the last of you with some common sense. I think he fancies our romanian mămăliga and sarmale :)) and i think he fancies us a lot

    Foreigners go to poor countries and hire people because it’s cheaper, people do not get paid as the average workers, they get exploited ..and you call us the invaders?

    I call it hypocritical bs and if it isn’t hypocritical then it’s ignorant and I blame it all the same.

    Eastern Europe isn’t the invader..is the invaded, as always has been.


    I say as politely as i can, you know nothing about us, even if you live here. I sense your arrogance and this comes from the fact that we romanians have this bad habbit of treating foreigners as gods when they come here. Its not your fault.

    Do you make a living through journalism or through spreading trash to ignorant people? That was not objective, these are frustrations of a professional troll.

    I for once, appreciate the beggar as he, at least, knows the level of his decadence.
    Yes, Romania is filled with flaws, but so is the entire world, and this doesn’t give the right to anyone, to instigate to more hatred.


  54. Dear Michael Bird,

    In spite of what you’ve heard, read and what you’ve see on your streets, not all Romanians are prostitutes, beggars, thief or high street spenders. And I bet you are not a researcher!
    But maybe you prefer Romanian women to the British ones (I wonder why, duh), maybe your naivety invites the beggars and the ignorance of your welfare system lures the poor. And yes, you keep stealing our doctors. What is up with that?!
    Anyway, I can tell you are a Brit because you can’t really tell the difference between gipsy (a nomadic population that migrated from India) and Romanians. You are definitely ignorant, look it up on Wikipedia if your schooling system didn’t teach you any history.
    As for the prostitutes, they do it because they are poor, not because they are fat, sad, pathetic, get drunk, vomit on the streets and then sex any guy just because they are wasted. That’s what a lot of English girls do all across the world. And I am talking about the lower end of both Romanian and British society.
    In fact, mister Bird, your country doesn’t compare to Romania. Everything is better here. And I’ve had the pleasure of visiting few places. Lovely. You just have richer ancestors and you think you are superior to us only relayed on economical terms.

    In other words… I know your country and not just yours. You don’t know mine. I know your history and not just yours. You don’t know mine. I even know your fucking language and literature. And not just yours. You don’t know mine. You just know how to point fingers and despise, using sarcasm as a cover for you personal frustrations. I would never choose your country over mine as long as I have a choice, even though I could probably steal a decent job from somebody as ignorant as you.

  55. Romanians should stay in their own country and learn what to vote, how to work, think, and so on! So should the Latin Americans and the rest of the citizens of failed countries.

    • dude, get real, no one wants a smart, powerful population that can think for itself and that can handle itself. Does anyone imagine how powerful would the eastern countries would become if our education, health and economy would be handled with the proper care? Why do you think they want the young college graduates or student to go study and work abroad????
      i saw the difference in thinking and i changed my own thinking after traveling: we as nation are a VERY CAPABLE PEOPLE. I had the time and the ocasions to compare this. Consumerism did not affect us as the other western countries(yet)..and i can say we are still quite normal and physicaly fit.
      We do not know our own value and our true power. We think that if we are humble and bow down to everyone who comes to invest here is bringing benefits. Romania is the one who should impose protectionism as all our natural resources go to export and we consume garbage and leftovers from other countries…like wtf? ??
      If Romania and other eastern countries would rise from the state they live in, im sure it would ruin some plans. Eastern Europe is their playground and propaganda is used to instigate masses against masses. We gain nothing. They do not want these nations to flourish. They want us smart enough to do the job and stupid enough not to question anything-as G. carlin said.
      We are ingenious, inventive, smart, can handle themselves and are resistant to crisis situations, they can do both genius and slave work…..what more do you want?

      • In principle you are right, although I am not sure if „we” are smart. Some are smart, most aren’t. If „we” were smart, „we” would not have voted the left… So „we” aren’t smart, some are. The Left corrupted the system, frauded history , so the smart ones are forced to move from country to country and never able to vote. So the Left stays home and collects the benefits, the rest are moving.. I guess the Left is smarter than the smart ones

  56. I am eternally in awe when it comes to British people’s ability to insult their own country and two other countries in one perfectly cynical phrase. Us Romanians love to insult ourselves, but we have so much more to learn about self-deprecating and passive-aggressive humour from the brits. Michael, don’t worry about Romanians taking over Britain. You could all just move here, and I don’t need more than one phrase to tell you why: we have cheap beer, we offer ridiculously high salaries for expats, we speak your language and you can find daily reasons to complain – British heaven!

    • And, the main attraction: we have a very high concentration of beautiful women.
      Let’s face it, Mr. Bird, British women reeeeealy suck (from an aestethical p.o.v.).
      I am friends wit a Brit (very clever, exceptional professional) who married a Dutch lady, then one from the Czech Republic and now he is happily married to a beautiful (and inteligent) Romanian girl. And I can tell you he was smitten from the first moment he met and spoke to her. Yeah, Romanian women do speak. Actually, some of them speak several languages. Amazingly, some of these speak foreign languages fluently, as you may have noticed in the comments above.

      • Florin, thank you for acknowledging the value of Romanian women. We need more men like you. Esti super tare.
        Judging by the examples he gives in his rant, Mr. Bird seems to be experienced in the more industrious RO women working the streets in the UK. Not to psychoanalyze him or over simplify the issue, but I wonder if that may be part of his frustration. As you said, British men tend to be spellbound by RO women, but that feeling isn’t always mutual I’m afraid. I’m not an expert, but it does sound like a classical case of a narcissistic wound.

        • Well, I have to acknowledge their worth and capabilities.
          After all, I am married to one of these hard-working, intelligent and loving women.
          And she’s a natural blonde, too :)
          And she also has blue eyes…

          Daaamn, Romanian women really are something, aren’t they?

          Beat that, Mr. Brit, I dare you. :)

  57. English humour is not exctinct! But wait, here comes the sarcasm…a gesture of superior citizenship I presume… Well… I might add dear Mr. Englishman that you have pointed out the few miserable things that happen in every country ( begging, prostitution, looking for jobs..etc) but forgot to mention a few things that are connected to romanian people indeed.. like Laser..( did you know that your hospital will have more advanced laser technology because of Romanians? (Please write an article about that) Did you know that apart of our begging nature, a romanian took some time off and invented the insuline that keeps same alot of those sorryass dietless british that dont even have a food culture and eat kebab all day long? Well i could also mention that more than 100 romanian scientists are working at Cern to make the world a better place? Please write an article about that too… Its a pitty that the so called superiority that you english people show towards third world countries like ours is found just in books, when in fact your history shows us that you have bought your progress with other countries wellness, after all, you did have alot of colonies that retured to you like a boomerang (indians are everywhere in uk… But they do have that legal right after all that occupation and resources accumulation). I thing almost a third of Microsoft is romanian… We do have a thing with the It … So i guess mister that every country has the miserable actions you have tighted up to romanian’s neck, but not every nation is capable of achieving things that romanians have.. And i think you are partially true.. You do need us mister…i hope that will be only for a matter of time though… And to end this poor romanian commentary, i would suggest gathering all the uk press and reporters in the first day of the so waited work permit liftoff… And watch all of your borders.. Beware that millions will come! But if not, you MUST buy me a pint to celebrate freedom! Have a good day sir.. And please be safe..people shoot eachother over there i heard…at least we don’t have guns.

    Kind regards from a regular romanian.

  58. What kind of self-regarding, insular toss is this?

    For a start, this passive-aggressive screed isn’t even well written. Did an editor pass any kind of eye over this, or did it transfer itself straight from the writer’s gall bladder to the page to the screen, thus ensuring that it would be at no stage be subjected to the interference of rational thought for even the briefest moment? I know this is the internet, but it still surprises me how many words people can expend on making a point as simple and childlike as „WURRGH, FORRIN PEEPLES IS BAAAD!” and still get it published, rather than get sent home to talk to their friends down the pub about it.

    It reads as incoherently as if this was the first draft. „Oh, oh, and another thing! Whores! And beggars! And you’re all poor but you have massive houses which I pay for! And you STEAL OUR JOBS!!”

    As a British person, I’m well aware of this kind of person. I call it Island Derangement Syndrome, the crazed and almost depraved notion that there is something good about being a locked off little hunk of rock that nobody comes in or out of because only bad things come from those nasty foreign places where they don’t even talk the Queen’s English, the savages! There is nothing sadder than a Brit taking it upon their red-faced self to get spittle all over the keyboard and DEFEND OUR BORDERS from the invading barbarian hordes. Unaware of our own history, of modern day politics, of the demographic realities that mean we could, actually, do with a few million more immigrants thank you very much.

    British Culture is, historically, a polyglot vampire, absorbing influences from all over the world. Our language is one of the biggest and most complex in the world for the simple reason that we’ve built it out of everyone else’s language. Our cuisine… well, ok, we are experiencing a bit of a revival of „traditional British” as fancy-dancy chefs in London rediscover the culinary possibilities of oxtail soup and pig’s trotters, but mostly we eat stuff other countries thought of first. Our cities are solidly and magnificently diverse, a result of years of constant cultural churn as wave after wave of Hugenot, Afro-Carribean, Chinese, or what-have-you immigrants all came here looking for a better life and, by and large, found one, helping us out in the process.

    Yes, help, because contra the almost religious beliefs of the Island Derangement Syndrome set, immigration helps. Sure, there are costs, but the benefits more than outweigh them. It’s a net gain for us. And particularly at the moment, when Britain is actually suffering from the demographic malaise that affects most of the old imperial hubs – we’re getting older and older, living longer, and are finding our working populations shrinking relative to the retired population. Our politicians insist that our grandmas will have to work till they are 75 soon, and after that their state pension will only be one tin of beans every fortnight.

    Now, having said that, don’t take this as us saying we just want to steal all your youth and leave Eastern Europe with the same problems. I’d love there to be a way we could all benefit, but if it turns out we’re falling over under the weight of our own sclerosis and backwardsness, well, that’s „the market,” as it were. We’ll be replaced by other countries and continue our slow drift into utter irrelevance, where people like Mr Bird will fill up the pubs with their continued ranting about how we used to have a big empire, dontchaknow, and wasn’t Britain great before foreign people came here rather than us going there. What goes around comes around.

    I just hope that, if it all finally gets too much and the racists piss me off for the last time, that the people of Romania or Bulgaria don’t stop me moving to Bucurest or Sofia to get away from the racist fuckwads in my own country. They’d have every right to assume I was basically a raging cunt, after all it’s all we seem to export, but I’m not, really I’m not. I can’t speak for people like Mr Bird, though.

    • I have been watching the BBC documentary EMPIRE (by Jeremy Paxman) for the past weeks and was under the impression that it was a documentary meant to enlighten the „foreigners”, with regard to Britains great past, good deeds and horrific acts of subjugation, evolution of demographic structure at home and in the colonies… I do believe now that this series would be quite useful for the British themselves, so that they may realise the British people is not the descentant of a pure, traditional race, but rather a hodge-podge of peoples, either that were invaded by the British emipire in the past, or that are invading the Island right now.

      Dear Mr. McDuff, I appreciate your input on this subject.
      I bet Mr. Bird wasn’t counting on his own people to trash his article.

    • Thank you for your sensible and rational comment. In the end… if Romanian and Bulgarians are such an immigrant invasion threat…well… just wait for and wellcome then the people with turbins and burqa’s.

  59. You’re entitled to your own opinion but that doesn’t mean I can’t for instance, wrap my hand in barbed wire and slap you a new one. If we weren’t good at our jobs we wouldn’t be working, the fact that tallented and hard working people get to be verbally smacked around by a guy with clearly too much time is not just sad, it’s outrageous.

    And as to not seem too hard on you here’s some free advice: Stop wasting time on the internet and get better at whatever it is you want to do and go get that job, I’d say it’s a free country and if you’re better than us silly romanians you will get hired, otherwise you might want to think about moving to Romania, we clearly need more people that waste time like you do.

  60. Mr Bird,

    Britain is just getting the thick end of the stick, after centuries of invading the world.
    Your current wealth and education comes with a price, so please accept our thefts and prostitutes, they’re coming „home”.
    You can’t just close your borders, doesn’t work that way, you should know better. Just ask 90% of the world’s countries! True story.

  61. Thank you, Mr Mihai Pasare, for a full of sarcasm article that is probably meant to reiterate the anti-Migration campaign aimed at Romanians and Bulgarians planned by the Brits, which you are so struggling to convince us that you hate!

  62. “Eu le spun concetăţenilor noştri, Ladies and Gentlemen, să ia cu asalt Anglia, celebra insulă care nu a mai fost cucerită din anul 1066. Poate ne mai învaţă supuşii Reginei de bunele maniere şi de sobrietatea englezească, poate reînvăţăm cum se joacă fotbal şi ce înseamnă o flotă imperială (că a noastră a fost condusă pe Apa Sâmbetei de căpitanul Băsescu).” (Iulian Brok)


  63. I hope all gipsies from Romania and Bulgaria move in to England , so you cant call us rassists just because we had enough of their bad habbits . And for the record , the english companies hires romanian because english people are too lazy and drunk . They preferere to stay home and live from social assistance , and now they QQ . Just a bunch of hipocrites .

  64. You forgot to add one thing on your list Mr Bird, you need some romanians and not only in the uk to put a bit of warmth in your cold reserved hearts!Your hearts are a bit like your weather….

  65. Dear Mr. Michael Bird,

    I’m sorry, but you got it all wrong from the very beginning, more exactly starting your text „As a British citizen”.

    I’m so sorry to correct you, but you in the UK, strangely enough, do not yet have the quality of a CITIZEN. Your quality is SUBJECT of HM The Queen, ever since you were born. That is, in the eyes of a citizen, a lower-quality person in terms of rights, more appropriately as Indians(from India) used to be in your ancestor’s eyes during the great days of what used to be the Great Britain, a kind of second-hand person (I refer here to the term „Sahib” and it’s meaning in the context). Seeing you are advertised as an above-average educated person, I trust I need not say more on the matter.

    Consequently, Mr. Bird, I hope you agree that, in all fairness, as rotten as we CITIZENS may all be and as cocky and ‘subtle’ as you may think you are, your above text is worth to us as much as a tinker’s dam.

    To all British reading my post (including Mr. Bird): my comment is as much a British humor as Mr. Bird’s text above, I’m sure you would all appreciate it in it’s full flavour.

    The Citizen

  66. eu nu ma duc din patria mea draga:noi avem presedinti pe care ii iubim,societatea noastra a depasit stadiul de monarhie,sintem pe o treapta superioara de dezvoltare si progres.tara noastra e frumoasa si bogata,are patru anotimpuri si poporul nostru e harnic si ospitalier.voi vretzi sa ne exploatatzi ca de aia o ducem rau ca atzi venit si ne atzi cumparat ieftin,voi ne atzi adus homosexuali si tot felul de necazuri.da noi sintem rumini,noi aici sintem stapini

  67. im already here paying £1200 a monthly tax (from ly salary) to sustain all the 15 years old brit girls to stay home, pregnant, on benefits!!

    • Yes,…..but may I ask you something Mr. Bird…the Paki and Indian people, who invaded your country and are so many…?? And what about them, they are staying on your benefits, houses benefits, your NHS, etc. They are making dozens of children…and so on.
      What about them????

  68. I’m glad to see so many witty, proud and diplomatic answers from part of the Romanian people as a response to this article. It makes me feel proud I’m Romanian. Unfortunately after the Romanian Revolution this is exactly what we’ve lost, the pride of being who we really are: excellent doctors, engineers, musicians, etc, capable of defending themselves in a foreign language (English in this particular case) with the same fine irony as a British journalist does (or even better in some of the above answers). We should stop seeing the pride of being Romanian as a communist propaganda and start being more conscious of our real value. So thank to all good British citizens who started this campaign and especially to this Mr Bird for making us to see our qualities and the advantages of living in our country. What it was meant to be an irony it happens to be a reality.

    • Din cate observ romanii stapanesc bine limba engleza asa ca,de ce nu?
      Let’s go!
      Nu pot sa nu observ insa ca Drugari balgari nu comenteaza de loc.
      Poate ca ei tac si fac…oare?

  69. Don’t empower the radicals and urge your representatives to stop giving money to the banks from public fundings, and accept the damn EU deals already, your country is on the verge of collapse and the idiot politicians you have in charge are just continuously fucking you over while gloriously invoking „the empire”.
    As for moving there, no thanks, it rains too much, I don’t intend to suicide.

  70. interesting,,,this article revealed quite a genuine truth. nothing would happen without green wave from Brits, especially regarding the beggars:) the companies do not care anyway about people they care about money,,,a plain rule

  71. Ok….loads of comments. That many , that makes me wonder if to add anything…

    Yes, I do! One question for this fellow who plays with words and gets paid for it. That’s true, I meant for the author of this rubbish, badly written propaganda. WHO PAYED YOU TO WRITE THIS TOILET PAPER ARTICLE? I bet that even when you lay down on your bad, on clean freshly clean shee(i)ts, still laugh and think „this bullshit I wrote between eating a pizza and a pint of beer” will be the most read bulshit I ever wrote…

    I hate hypocrites and hypocrisy …

  72. It says on your profile that you live in Bucharest,so I will say get out from my f… country you racist piece of..!First look down on your „amazing brits” and then see if you still dare to comment about others!You know nothing so don’t insult us!

  73. Din păcate domnul Bird este tot Român care face mișto de voi. Așa că mai bine stați acasă decât sa va faceți de rușine pe la BBC când o sa va filmeze la vama ca invadati insula. 80% din voi va veți întoarce acasă și 20%(care suportați mai bine sa fiți jigniți și ocariti) veți rămâne.

  74. I’ll pretend this is not sarcasm,just because i’d love to go to Britain. I’d love to go there with my few years worth of labor experience, along with my computer science diplomas which I’ve gained before turning 20. I’d love to take a young British lad’s job and do it way better, way faster, way more cost efficient and all this paying taxes and without complaining. Instead of trashing our name, how about you search for the reason why your CO-NATIONALS are asking us, a company 2000 km away to work for them, instead of asking their own kin?

      • You accidentally „ate” a word. :)
        To answer your question: it is because Romanian companies work cheaper than companies in Britain. It is because you are cheap to hire and you provide services on-par or better than the ones provided by „pure islanders”.

  75. If they’re stealing our jobs, it’s because the British don’t want to do them. They are available for Brits to apply for, but most of the jobs taken by foreigners are beneath us Brits. Let them have them and pay taxes… why not? We emigrate to other countries and work… even retire and don’t do any work at all! Did you forget that little point?
    Oh yes, of course they are given luxury housing when they get here. The Daily Mail says so, so it must be true… DERP.


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Michael Bird
Cu o experienta de peste 12 ani ca jurnalist, Michael Bird este un freelancer specializat in editoriale solide, bine documentate, cu subiecte din aripa estica a Uniunii Europene. A scris pentru publicatii din Marea Britanie ca The Independent on Sunday, New Statesman si Design Week si a fost redactor fondator al The Diplomat - Bucharest. A fost citat ca specialist in politica romaneasca la posturi de radio americane, televiziunea romana si presa nationala spaniola. Locuieste in Bucuresti si in prezent lucreaza pentru presa scrisa si film. Redactor la www.theblacksea.eu

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„Jurnalul de doliu scris de Ioan Stanomir impresionează prin intensitatea pe care o imprimă literei, o intensitate care consumă și îl consumă, într-un intangibil orizont al unei nostalgii dizolvante. Biografia mamei, autobiografia autorului, atât de strâns legate, alcătuiesc textul unei declarații de dragoste d’outre-tombe, punctând, în marginea unor momente care au devenit inefabile, notele simfoniei unei iremediabile tristeți… vezi amanunte despre carte
 „Serhii Plokhy este unul dintre cei mai însemnați experți contemporani în istoria Rusiei și a Războiului Rece.” – Anne Applebaum
În toamna anului 1961, asasinul KGB-ist Bogdan Stașinski dezerta în Germania de Vest. După ce a dezvăluit agenților CIA secretele pe care le deținea, Stașinski a fost judecat în ceea ce avea să fie cel mai mediatizat caz de asasinat din întregul Război Rece. Publicitatea iscată în jurul cazului Stașinski a determinat KGB-ul să își schimbe modul de operare în străinătate și a contribuit la sfârșitul carierei lui Aleksandr Șelepin, unul dintre cei mai ambițioși și periculoși conducători sovietici. Mai multe…
„Chiar dacă războiul va mai dura, soarta lui este decisă. E greu de imaginat vreun scenariu plauzibil în care Rusia iese învingătoare. Sunt tot mai multe semne că sfârşitul regimului Putin se apropie. Am putea asista însă la un proces îndelungat, cu convulsii majore, care să modifice radical evoluţiile istorice în spaţiul eurasiatic. În centrul acestor evoluţii, rămâne Rusia, o ţară uriaşă, cu un regim hibrid, între autoritarism electoral şi dictatură autentică. În ultimele luni, în Rusia a avut loc o pierdere uriaşă de capital uman. 
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